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Polby’s Guide To Cookie Fanaticism

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Huwo! Iff is me, Polby! As you all might know, I really love cookies!

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So today I wanted to show you five guidelines to being the best cookie fanatic you could ever be. I’ll also add a few funny little cookie-related snippets, quotes, pictures, and guidelines along the way so that you don’t get bored!

I’m very excited for this post! As you see, I’ve got all the decorations and posters ready.

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This is an exhaustive list of my favorite types of cookie 🙂

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Rebekah designed this one for me.

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I even taped a cookie-themed motto onto my shirt!

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And how can you have a cookie-themed post without a cookie on display? Mmmm, that makes me hungry.

Shall we get started?

#1: Realize That Cookies Are GOOD

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Cookies are really good. Like, really good. And you gotta know that to be a cookie fanatic! If you don’t like cookies…well, you can’t be a cookie fanatic!

And if you’re not a cookie fanatic…you can’t be my friend. And who doesn’t want to be friends with me????

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Some people say cookies aren’t that great. It’s horrifying. It’s one of the worse things that could ever happen to me. How can you not like cookies????

#2: Appreciate Cookie Monster

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Via Cookie Monster’s Amazing Official Twitter Page

To be a cookie fanatic, it is paramount that you appreciate cookie monster. He is one of my best friends!

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It is absolutely and extremely critical that you’re his best friend, too. After all, he invented cookies, right????

Here are some of my absolute favorite quotes from him:

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via

Related image

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Image result for cookie monster quotes

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#3: Eat Cookies As Often As Possible

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Sometimes that isn’t as often as we want (every hour). But still, persevere! For this step, you’ll need to know how to bake your own cookies, or else have someone else who will diligently bake them for you or a local market where you know where you can buy good ones. Personally, I like my Woolfie’s cookies better than store-bought ones, but of course, that’s completely up to you.

The point is, you can’t be a cookie fan unless you eat ‘em all the time. Because then, what’s the point?

#4: Talk About Cookies 24/7

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To the point that it annoys people so much they pack up and move away from you.

EXAMPLE:
Polby: Dwuff Dwuff, do you like cookies?
Dwuff: Hmm, not particularly. I mean, they’re good, but not my favorite dessert. Unless there’s chocolate in it, of course. 
Polby: What’s your favorite kind of cookie?
Dwuff: Double chocolate chunk, I guess. 
Polby: Do you know who Cookie Monster is?
Dwuff: *looks up annoyingly* UH, yes. 
Polby: Do you like him?
Dwuff: Not particularly. 
Polby: My Woolfie makes the best cookies. 
Dwuff: Okay, okay, I’m going to read a book now. 
Polby: Do you make good cookies?
Dwuff: Not really, now can you not bother me?
Polby: Did you know that Cookie Monster invented cookies?
Dwuff: NO. Now stahp bothering me about cookies. 
Polby: But cookies are really good…
Dwuff: If you say another word about cookies, I will pack up and move away. 
Polby: Can you guess what Cookie Monster’s favorite cookie is–
Dwuff: *takes book and leaves* 

#5: Relax And Enjoy A Cookie

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Relax. There’s nothing to being a cookie fan. It’s likely you’re one already. Very likely. So just sit back and eat a cookie.

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Ahahaha, you didn’t think that cookie was just for display, did you?

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Who took the cookie???

hmm, i wonder who…

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C is for cookie, and cookie is for me!

Bonus Photoshoot: 

How did you enjoy my infinite cookie wisdom? Do you like cookies? (Please say yes!) And if so, what’s your favorite kind?

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6 thoughts on “Polby’s Guide To Cookie Fanaticism

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